Don’t play defense. Not on your birthday. Go big, go forth and go eat bacon.
I did, which wasn’t my initial strategy when I walked around the day before and lay in bed the morning of and wondered who could stop this train. Put an end to the relentless piling up of numbers — 50, 55, 60, 65— as if it were a blowout in a football game and the winner knew no shame.
That’s when I decided to flip the paradigm and embrace it. At least publicly. If I could big-boy growing older with a show of bravado, maybe I could convince other people and in turn believe that it was no big deal myself.
“Do I still wish you 'Happy Birthday'?” David asked at the beginning of the bike ride, wondering if certain birthdays were to be celebrated, ignored or called for a period of formal mourning.
I laughed. I think I laughed. If I didn’t laugh then I made an effort not to have a smile look like a grimace.
It’s easy to fall back on the cliches. In this case, it is easier still because the cliches are true or have a grain of truth in them.
"I feel good. I’ve never felt better. I don’t feel any differently than I did yesterday, a year ago or five."
I feel this, believe this and act as if this were true but it’s possible other people see this differently. They may look at me and not see the me that I think me is.
No matter how vigorous your me is, we’re ice cream melting on the sidewalk. We’re melting, even when it’s cool but the goal is to melt slowly, evenly and not leave a big mess on the pavement for someone else to clean up.
People are nice to you on your birthday. Sue snuck a present on the breakfast table. Presents are best as surprises, planted in the cover of darkness.
We’re never too old for presents. Hers were five soft nylon bags in which to keep shirts, socks and pants from falling all over one another in a suitcase. She had some and I have lusted after them. Some of us are looking for answers, others will settle for keeping their suitcase organized.
Our daughter-in-law Lauren sent a text. Daughters-in-law remember birthdays. Especially good ones and this one is.
The kids called. Kids who are not kids. No one really knows what to say but they were game and tried to put a happy face on it.
What’s unsaid is, "Is this going to happen to me?"
We had a homemade Mexican dinner and a chocolate raspberry cake with Katie, Hunter and their kids, Andrew and Lillian, in La Jolla. There is hardly anything better than having small children sitting on your lap and helping you blow out the candles.
Melting, maybe, older certainly but grateful nonetheless. We take our stand in the sand against the tide. If you can, don’t play defense but keep playing as if your life depended on it.
June 01, 2021 at 05:00AM
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HERB BENHAM: Play no defense when it comes to birthdays - The Bakersfield Californian
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Herb
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