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Sunday, February 14, 2021

HERB BENHAM: No such thing as too many - The Bakersfield Californian

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Nora has a new friend. Her name is Lennon. I learned this from Nora’s mother, Lauren.

Lauren is our daughter-in-law and Nora, her 4-year-old. They recently moved with the rest of their family — Sam and Baby Henry — one block down the street, five houses from their old house.

Changes in geography, subtle as they might be, and five houses is as subtle as it gets, can mean changes in friendships. Nora left behind two girls — next-door neighbor friends — at the old house. However, the OGs — original girlfriends — have forged a permanent place in each other’s friend constellation.

Is there such a thing as too many friends? Better to err on the “too many” side in order to buttress yourself against the natural drift in friendships, unplanned as it may be but natural as the rain nonetheless.

“Nora called her Lemon at first,” her mother said.

I understand. Lennon sounds like Lemon and, even if it didn't, Lemon is easier for a child to say than Lennon. If you have to make a mistake, this is not a bad one to make. Lemon is charming, sounds fresh and has a trace of mystery. When it comes from the mouth of a 4-year-old, it is innocence squared.

“I had to coach her,” Lauren said. “It’s Lennon as in John Lennon.”

Lauren’s approach might both clear it up and introduce her daughter to the ubiquity and richness of the Beatles catalog.

Nora was present during this conversation in the invisible/visible way that small children are. They can be observers, participants and sometimes subjects in stories that will be told and retold long after their childhood has unfolded. Nora listened, nodded and repeated, “Lennon,” as if she were practicing lessons in preschool.

With new friends, and Lennon has an older brother, come additional reasons to wake up every day as if a 4-year-old needs any excuses to leap out of bed in the morning. However, if you need one more, count on a new friend to make a soft pillow and warm covers feel superfluous.

“I think I’m going to see her tomorrow,” Nora said, looking out the kitchen window.

It was dark but it wouldn’t be dark forever and when it wasn’t, who knows what fun and which neighborhood adventures could be had. Neighborhoods usually have an abundance of both but sometimes it takes a child to discover them.

There is nothing quite like a friendship between an older girl and a younger one. One can be a guide and the other a willing acolyte. "Let me show you the way, the ropes, the apricot tree in the alley and the nest of kittens that seem to replenish at will."

The younger girl does not come to the party empty-handed. Start with wholehearted enthusiasm. She’ll follow you to the moon and won’t get mad if you are waylaid in the Milky Way. You may be hard-pressed to see that kind of devotion again.

How do you put a price on a new Mary Poppins dress and somebody who is willing to wear it every day even if Halloween is nine months away? Not only will she wear the dress but she’ll sing the songs and teach you the words, and that’s the kind of friend you want to have.

She also has a new tree swing with a really long rope. Not everybody has a new tree swing and when you do have one, you want to share it with friends. Old friends, new friends and friends you haven't even met yet.

A new friend with a cool name. What’s better than that?

Another reason to wake up early, wolf down breakfast and head out the door.

The Link Lonk


February 14, 2021 at 08:45AM
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HERB BENHAM: No such thing as too many - The Bakersfield Californian

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